Lessons I've Learned: The Way Eye See It

We are approaching the anniversary of when I began to conceptualize and create ‘The way eye see it.’ As you can imagine sharing my experience required a great deal of vulnerability. Over the last 12 months, I have been very transparent about my wins, lessons, laughs, and struggles. I am grateful for Health Union affording me the opportunity. In this article, I would like to discuss what I have learned from this cathartic experience.

Normalizing experiences with vision loss

I’ve known for a while now that sharing my story would free others and create a space for vulnerability. However, I did not realize what being vulnerable would cost me. There were times when right after I wrote an article I would think, “Wait! I cannot believe I just shared that with the world wide web!”

Feeling vulnerable

I remember right after I wrote Blind Dating and it was published I did not share it on my Facebook. I remember sharing my article Herstory with my friend. She responded telling me that she enjoyed the article so much that she went back and read my other articles. That is when she mentioned Blind Dating. I felt awkward, because up until then I did not share my insecurities surrounding dating with very many people.

Lesson #1: Looking back, I am glad I put my vulnerability out in the open because it normalized struggles other people often experience but are too nervous to talk about for fear of being judged.

You aren't less capable than sighted people

I learned that insecurities and trauma do not go away. Instead, they require work to learn effective coping mechanisms when those negative thoughts or emotions begin to creep up on you.

A stressful morning

For example, in one of my articles, I discuss the different phases of coming to terms with my diagnosis. I do feel like more often than not I am comfortable with my diagnosis and have learned how to live a full life with macular degeneration. I vividly remember doing my mommy shuffle and trying to make it out of the house on time; however, I missed my bus and had to order a Lyft. Unfortunately, due to an incident earlier in the week, I had to freeze my card. As a result, I attempted to put my other bank card on my Lyft account. The contrast on my bank card was so difficult for me to see and I began to get so frustrated. I remember thinking: “If I could see like a 'normal' person this would be much easier.”

Reframing my thoughts

Eventually, I called my lifeline — a.k.a. my mommy — and asked her to order me the Lyft after explaining the situation. She asked about my portable assistive device and I shared with her I typically keep it at work because that is when I need it the most. After I arrived to work and reflected on the event that transpired that morning, I reframed my thoughts and instead told myself: “If you could see what normal people see, you would do what normal people do.”

Lesson #2: This past year I have regularly reaffirmed the valuable lesson, that just because you need to use assistive devices it does not make you any less capable.

Taking care of my needs

This leads me to the next lesson I learned. After my card experience and my mom’s reminder about my access to an assistive device I now carry it around at all times. I have learned that I never know when I am going to need it and prefer to be prepared.

Advocating for accessibility at work

I recently realized while my portable assistive device is super helpful while on the go, it would be much easier while at work to have something stationary and bigger. I shared my concerns with my employer and they encouraged me to find something that I think would aid in completing my job efficiently. I did some research and found a local company that sells CCTV machines. We contacted them, and they came out to my office to demonstrate.  After the demo, the representative asked me if I think my employer would purchase the CCTV for me.  My immediate response was they have to, under the Americans with Disabilities Act employers are required to provide reasonable accommodations. She confirmed that I was right, and later I processed that conversation.

Advocating for visual needs

I was surprised that I had immediately said that and advocated for my needs and ultimately my rights. Honestly, up until recently, I did not share what reasonable accommodations I needed at work. I did not want my colleagues to pity me and now I have learned to boldly embrace and share what accommodations I need at work. While I have seen improvements in working through my work needs, as I shared in my article Deserving Blind I am still figuring out how to set up my personal life with the same openness and acceptance of my diagnosis and needs.

Lesson #3: It’s important to set up your life in a way that works for you.

Reflecting is a process—one that does not end—but the more I peel the layers back the more I find the beauty in the way eye see it.