When I Grow Up

What do you want to be when you grow up? I, at 68, and a colleague, at 66, had this conversation as she drove me to my clinical trial appointment. Not sure who dropped the ball in getting me an “approved” ride, but that is a different page. It took some finagling, but it got worked out.

When should I retire?

We talked about how people keep asking each of us when we are retiring. We have independently weighed the options and independently decided we have chanced upon the best of both worlds for each of us, at least for now. Quit work and do nothing? Only quit work with nothing to do if you plan on peeling us off the walls on a regular basis. Neither of us does “relax” well.

Quit and travel? Great! The only issues there are the pandemic travel restrictions, finances, and pet care. I cannot be constantly away from the pups.

Quit and volunteer? To do what? Volunteering is a great thing but we each have a specific skill set. We are mental health therapists. Guess what we would be expected to do as volunteers? Might as well practice our profession and get paid for doing it.

Sharing our knowledge

All this - as well as a conversation I had with a client - started the wheels turning. This client has a baby with colic. She lives across the street from a church with a senior center. I suggested that she take her last shreds of patience and sanity, go across to the church, and ask for help. She has a treasure trove of experience and practical information in those elderly women across the way. Someone over there might have a tried and true method for dealing with colic. If nothing else, they might volunteer to rock the baby for a couple of hours so my client can get some sleep!

I guess my point in all of this is this: We older folks - visually impaired or not - have amazing resources to share. Legally blind, I practice my craft. I would imagine a legally blind Grammy or two is perfectly capable of passing on a bit of knowledge about easing an infant’s tummy trouble. Maybe they just have to be asked... or volunteer.

A bit of psych

Erik Erickson was a developmental psychologist whom all of us good, little psych majors learned about in college in the 1970s. He created his theories about the stages of development in the 1940s and 1950s. That was when we got old faster and died younger. I like to think that is the reason his theories place me in the old-old range!

Erickson’s last two psychosocial stages are generativity versus stagnation and integrity versus despair. Generativity is contributing to the growth of others. Stagnation is just what it sounds like. The conflict in integrity versus despair is in reflecting on our lives and seeing how we did. If we are happy with our accomplishments, we are integrated. Not happy? We fall into despair.

While Erickson is reported not to have made a big thing about the ages assigned to these stages, some sources have the integrity versus despair stage starting at 65. Excuse me? I am not ready for end-of-life reflection yet. I still want to party! ... Okay, how about contribute?

Maintaining purpose

No matter how old you are, I suspect many of you are not ready to give up purpose, to give up contributing to the growth of others. I suspect all of you are treasure troves of information and skills that can help others to thrive. Do you think vision loss has somehow made it impossible for you to share? Do you need someone to invite you?

Alright. I am inviting you. What are your skills and knowledge? What do you have to share? What do you want to be when you grow up? And does ANYONE have a good idea about dealing with colic? I know someone who could use your guidance.