Finding Joy When You Think There Is No Joy

Last updated: March 2022

I have had AMD since 2011. I am an artist, needless to say after my diagnosis, I felt so sad and blue. During my first injection, I thought I would faint, or throw up, but after it was finished I thought well that was not too bad.

Injection appointments

I must say, I get tired of going to get a poke in the eye every 4 weeks, but at least I could see. I thought this won't be too bad. I have had injections of three different kinds of medicine, now I am getting Lucentis injections. It was changed because the other two stopped working. We moved in 2019 to Texas to be closer to a daughter. I started seeing a new doctor and he thought Lucentis would be a better type of med for me.

My eye seemed to respond very well, the fluid was getting less, but still had to have an injection every 4 weeks. In 2021 my right eye, my good eye developed wet AMD. Now I am having problems, I see double, just a shadow of the image, but very disturbing, and can't read lines very well because some of the print is missing.

Leaning into possibility

I am 84, well almost, my birthday is in May. I take care of my husband who will be 90 in June, he has mid-stage Alzheimers. I pray I will have another 10 yrs to take care of him.

I still paint, love oil painting and watercolor, but it is difficult to focus but I find I don't have to squint, it is automatic. Funny but sad at the same time. I guess I will have to paint loose and larger. I try to find humor in things and not dwell on the possibilities that may be. I pray every day that God will lead me to a successful treatment that will carry me through the years ahead.

Hoping my doctors can help

I am praying my doctor will be able to treat me successfully to get rid of the double vision, I can say it has been difficult adjusting, but until now it was OK I could deal with it. I may have to start wearing a pirate's patch, well it could be rhinestones and purple because I am 84 and can wear purple.

God help the scientists find a better treatment for those of us dealing with AMD. Amen.

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