A page of a journal with thick black writing on it

My Bold Black Pen

Last updated: September 2022

I have always had a certain preference when it comes to my writing equipment. As far back as I can remember, I would always gravitate to them: the bold, black ink pens.

I never really questioned it or even thought much about it. This was my favorite writing and drawing tool. I always had these pens at my ready, no matter what the project.

Myopic degeneration diagnosis

Three years ago, when I was first diagnosed with myopic degeneration, I learned a lot. I learned what was going on with my extreme nearsightedness and how the elongated stretch of my eyes was causing the bleeds that had greatly altered my vision. I learned that the injections that I was given would help slow down these bleeds.

Unfortunately, I also learned that these injections would not undo the damage that was already done. Even today, I am still learning how to adjust to what I see and what I can do.

I have learned that driving at night is not ideal for me these days. The bright headlights bearing down on my field of vision makes for a very unsafe experience. It is a constant world of adjustments at times.

Reading and writing with AMD

There are times when the printed words on any given paper are so altered and blurred, that reading them is quite challenging. Lighting and magnification work wonders to resolve this, but even they have limitations. 

I have also learned to ask for assistance if something is just too difficult to read. At first this was hard, admitting the scary truth that I could not really read something. Fortunately I am slowly getting better at this admission and with the helpful assistance from friends and family, the challenges are being addressed and managed.

I am also finally realizing why I have had this fondness for the bold, black ink pens. Even before my diagnosis, I am presuming that I was dealing with challenges in reading those fine tip ink pens or even pencil writings that were prevalent. Now I know the reason why.

I am now realizing that those bold, defining lines are what I can really see well. It is when I am drawing, the dark, definite, distinctive lines that often are the basis of what I am working on as I draw or paint. This is my defense against the fading vision, creating these strong focal points for me to work with.

What I can do

My ever-faithful black bold pens and pencils have given me this ability to be able to keep doing what I love to do. As I continue on the myopic journey I can only hope that I will be successful in what I do, in what I create. 

This myopic macular degeneration may be what I have, but I will, for as long as I can, strive to constantly get ahead of it and I will keep pursuing the creation of my art for as long as I possibly can.

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