It Is What It Is

It just might be time to subject you - ugh, let us say, allow you to experience - one of my stream of consciousness posts. Here goes...

I just called to remind my “handler” from the study that she needs to arrange my ride for the upcoming appointment. Last evening I had to call the local transportation company and straighten out the mess they had made of my schedule.

Getting a ride

This morning I lost track of time and thought I would have to enlist my husband to take me to work. He would do it but normally his “job” is only to bring me home. No fear, though. I have now been ready for 20 minutes and my ride is still not here.

"Hurry up and wait." My father would use that phrase to talk about his time in the army. I feel like I enlisted. Or more accurately was drafted against my will.

I have trouble enough keeping track of myself. I really don’t want or need to ride herd on a dozen other people. Yet here I am. Reminding. Cajoling. Encouraging and, if necessary, chastising. Life was so much easier when I did not have “staff.”

Working became harder

I saw a friend/ex-coworker yesterday. She told me the girl who had taken my old job left and they are without a school psychologist. Maybe they would ask me to help.

Scary thought. I am already working four days a week and busy, busy. Besides. It has been a year and a half since I left that job and my macular degeneration marches on. I am not sure I could still do it even semi-competently. Sad thought.

I had made my boss there promise me she would let me know when I was making too many mistakes. It never came to that point. I crunched the numbers and realized it was financially more feasible to retire and move over to more full time at the counseling center. I think if I tried to go back we would soon discover I was at “that point” now. Sort of sad to realize you cannot go home again. Things really are not as they were.

Renting a CCTV

My CCTV is acting up. I keep putting off putting it in the shop. When I send it in for repairs, it is a major event. The shop is in Connecticut. I have to call and let them know it is coming. Get it boxed and out by UPS. Then I wait for weeks until it is returned.

In the meantime, I borrow two CCTVs from the public library. If I am teaching at our annex, one has to go there and one goes to the office. If I am not teaching, I can have one at home. The ones from the library are far from portable. It is a major event to get them where they need to be.

Broken CCTV

So, I hope and pray my CCTV waits another two months before it finally “dies.” I have that long before I am finished teaching this module and can comfortably make do with two loaners. And in the meantime, the screen zooms and shrinks on its own and sometimes even blinks out. Yowza. Not.

The perils of the visually impaired

So, back and forth among the perils of the visually impaired. Complicated just seems to take on a whole new meaning at times.

But in the end, it is what it is. It may not be a mess I created but it is a mess I have to deal with. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more. Henry 5th may have understood.