Molecules, Neurons, and Me

“Researchers at the Salk Institute and colleagues have discovered the molecule in the brain responsible for associating good or bad feelings with a memory. Their discovery... paves the way for a better understanding of why some people are more likely to retain negative emotions than positive ones—as can occur with anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).” – Science X Newsletter for July 20, 2022.¹

Negative memories and AMD

I read this and flashed back to that day in 2019 when I was diagnosed with age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It was a routine pre-op examination. A friend had nagged me into having eyelid reduction surgery.

The first step was a vision test. We all know the drill: cover one eye and read the chart. The technician seemed as bored as was I until there was a long pause as she uncovered my left eye and I stammered, “I can’t see a thing. Not even the big E.”

Yes, I panicked. Yes, I was anxious. Yes, I wondered, "What in the world is going on here?".

Time can heal

Six months earlier I had passed that exam with flying colors and now...

Three days later I had my first eye (intravitreal) injection. Tomorrow morning, I have another. It is my 14th or 15th. I have actually lost count.

No panic, a bit anxious wondering if there has been a change not registered by checking out my vision with the Amsler grid on the refrigerator.

My molecules

Three years later since that first encounter with my diagnosis, the feelings associated with that memory with that time and events are not particularly good.

To be honest, and that is what writing for this site is all about. I really could have done without the AMD diagnosis and I can do without those injections. But, I have figured out how to deal with the reality.

Some days I’m tempted to launch into a pity party but that doesn’t get the laundry, or the writing, done. Negative emotions come and go. Nothing lasts forever.

A path to compassion

The results of the study offer another insight. For some people, maybe you or the next person I meet, there are different molecules.

They could be more prone to retaining negative emotions than positive ones. Their anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress disorder are due to their brain chemistry and beyond their control.¹

The article is worth reading even if challenging with talk of valences and valence assignment. Bottom-line?

"We've basically gotten a handle on the fundamental biological process of how you can remember if something is good or bad.” says senior author, Kay Tye.¹

How I'm shifting my perspective

So, what good do I associate with visits to my current retina specialist?

His staff is kind and efficient. I am treated as a valued person not just another patient on the daily assembly of test-review-inject. I have a compassionate caregiver/driver/husband waiting to drive me home. And, I have the opportunity to help others deal with their diagnosis and treatment issues.

END NOTE:

I’m adding this end note because I think we needed to be reminded that real people are behind every advance in science and medicine.

The Amsler grid mentioned above was developed by Marc Amsler, a Swiss ophthalmologist who practiced in Zurich. His invention, used since 1945, is a grid of horizontal and vertical lines used to monitor a person's central visual field.¹

You can read more about it here. If it is not on your refrigerator, it should be.