Halloween Eye Humor

Friends, Halloween is almost here! I love, love, love Halloween. I always have. There’s just something special about the beauty in the weather changing in the midwest from summer to fall. Combine that with the buzz of excited children, spooky decorations strung everywhere, and getting to dress up as whatever you want and you’ve got a recipe for FUN!

Plus, even though I really try to stay away from sugar as much as I can, Halloween just wouldn’t be the same without mentioning all.the.yummy.treats!

Quick Tip: To curb that sweet tooth in a healthier way, try replacing candy corn and chocolatey peanut butter cups with fresh berries topped with a whipped topping or caramel apples topped with chopped nuts. Your taste buds will be just as satisfied and your body will thank you.

This one's for us

I’m a mother of two young children and a third-grade teacher so you can imagine the excitement surrounding me in preparation for this haunting holiday. Children have this wonderful way of making holidays extra special and Halloween is no exception.

However, today, I’d like to try to find a little bit of Halloween humor for us adults who are struggling with macular degeneration and vision loss in honor of the year’s spookiest holiday.

Boo, blurry vision

It’s hard for me to believe that people actually purchase glasses as costume accessories. This is a foreign concept to me. I’ve never wanted to wear a costume that required glasses. Glasses are an everyday annoying reality for those of us with vision loss...so it’s a no from me!

What's life like on the non-blurry side?

I’ve always wondered what life is like for people who naturally see 20/20. Seriously, wouldn’t that be strange and exciting? I can only imagine waking up and actually being able to see what’s in front of me, you know? Instead, being visually impaired, we get to wake up every day to blobs and blurs of who knows what until we reach for those glasses or contacts. And for some of us...those still don’t always help.

The trouble with corrective lenses

How about trying to see well, but those pesky glasses just fog up and slide down our noses? Orrrr...what about getting the tiniest little bit of something in your contact that you need to help combat blurry vision? That sure feels like a piece of glass being gouged in there, doesn’t it?

Ask anyone with 20/20 vision if they’d like to try any that for just a week or even a day and I bet they’d decline...it’s scary!

Freaky floaters

Who needs ghosts to scare them when they constantly have things ‘floating’ around them all day? That’s what it seems like to those of us with floaters, doesn’t it? Sure, we know that there isn’t anything actually floating around us, it’s just our detaching/detached vitreous gel drifting around aimlessly in our eyes. But, they’re like pesky ghosts in a lot of ways if you ask me. They’re always there with what seems like one goal...to bother us and scare us a little. Plus, we’re constantly hoping more don’t just appear out of nowhere. Amiright?

Eerie hallucinations from Charles Bonnet syndrome

Why would we need Halloween to bring us surprising apparitions when some of us have CBS and hallucinate them on our own? The brain is a miraculous thing and if you think about it, it’s pretty dang impressive that it automatically fills in missing parts of our vision just trying to help us out. But, visual hallucinations of people, animals, and shapes in places they shouldn’t be? Halloween, thank you, but we have this one covered too.

Gory bloodshot eyes after injections

Those of us who’ve experienced this might just get the ‘Scariest Award’ at the neighborhood costume contest but really should get the bravest award. A needle being poked directly into your eyeball sounds like something straight from the SAW movie series, doesn’t it? Enough said.

Fearing a frightful future

For many of us, we worry frequently about the future of our lives with failing vision. So much of what we deal with on a daily basis is really frightening! I am so happy and blessed that you are all here with me along this terrifying part of my journey. If any of you laughed a little bit with me today, thank you for finding the joy.

Quick Note: This is all in good fun, Friends. I personally suffer from most of the complications I wrote about in this article and am in no way trying to hurt anyone’s feelings. We have to laugh at ourselves sometimes, right? This trickster holiday is a fun time to do so.

Happy Halloween, Friends. Laugh, scream, make memories, and enjoy the day with those you hold dear to you.

Andrea Junge