We Begin Again

I’m not superstitious, I’m sure it was just a coincidence.

I had pressed the “send” button for my personal story on MacularDegeneration.net just a few minutes before the telephone rang. Good timing. Call display indicated my retinal specialist’s office.

A new wet macular degeneration leak

Expecting to just make an appointment for the next OCT pictures, I answered, only to hear that the last pictures showed there was a new very minor leak in my “wet but stable” eye. There seemed to be no change in my vision. We’re starting again with a series of three injections at four-to-five week intervals, then another check-up. It’s been almost 10 months since my last (11th) injection. All this time thinking, or rather hoping, I would be one of the lucky ones who wouldn’t have it restart. At least not for a long time. Now it begins again.

Having a good retinal specialist

I’m not concerned about the injection itself as I have a wonderful retinal specialist whom I trust completely. Thankfully, he always ensures the freezing has done its job before the injection, so I only feel a slight pressure. Whenever I have questions or concerns he takes the time to discuss them with me.

Progressing wet macular degeneration

I tried to put it out of my mind. I’ve been here before. But would this be the time a minor leak becomes a major one? I know I should consider myself lucky that the injections do hold it back, but somehow I don’t feel so lucky right now. Also lucky that my “dry” eye hasn’t advanced to wet as well. Which I know is very likely at some point. I’ve read that if one eye has advanced to wet, there’s a better than average chance the other will as well.

Lucky

Lucky that I’m retired and can spend the day before the injection not being able to get anything important done. It’s not that I dwell on it or worry about it, but I just can’t seem to do anything constructive. Intellectually I know that this is only a minor setback and will very likely be resolved with a few more injections, but emotionally it’s a different matter.

Or not so lucky...

There is still so much I want to see and do.  I’ve already taken skydiving off my bucket list, but there are so many other things I haven’t done yet. So many places I haven’t seen. It’s all so much better and so much easier with good vision.

Changing perspective

People think 72 is old, that by this age we should be content to sit back and reflect on all that has happened in our long lives. I used to think that as well. But now that I’m here, it’s not so old after all. I can still travel, drive myself to the beach, and navigate the hazards of rocky and rooty country paths with my camera in hand. I used to think I would be happy if I just lived long enough to see my grandchild settled down with a family and a career he loved. See being the operative word. I still hope to be able to see the face of a future great-grandchild. These injections are just the price of admission.

Does any of this sound like your experience with MD? Has your stable wet AMD eye started a new leak? Are you afraid you might miss out on some things that you'll want to see in the future?